But grocery shopping. I wouldn’t call it my downfall, but it’s definitely not my strong point.

I use coupons. Sometimes. And I understand how using a coupon works. But the whole “couponing” movement is beyond me.

There are people out there who are getting food for free, or practically free. And I want to be one of those people. I just don’t get it.

I have a Master’s degree for crying out loud. And yet couponing has, to this point, been beyond my grasp.

I shall master it this year. Oh yes, I shall. I am now armed with a book – The Coupon Mom’s Guide to Cutting Your Grocery Bills in Half – and am at page 59. And I have not had to scratch my head or throw the book across the room in anger even once.

You know, if you head over to You Tube and type in the search word “couponing” you will get 503 results. So there are plenty of people out there that know and understand the couponing secrets that I have decreed must be learned by yours truly.

Between the book, the videos and a ton of websites (including Coupon Mom – the site the book is based upon) there is a wealth of information at my fingertips. Now, if I can just get my brain to process it…

Updates shall be forthcoming (of course).

I was stumbling through life using – gasp – Internet Explorer. I don’t even know which version. It was whatever version popped up on my computer, people. Because I really didn’t care about browsers and such. I just wanted my internet and I wanted it NOW.

But then friends and colleagues raved about this little wunderkind Mozilla Firefox. I made the switch. I even played around a bit and added the color tabs for some fun. (I know, shocking!).

But you know what? I’m back to wanting my internet to magically appear. And NOT have problems. Like crashing every freakin’ day. Or getting the “Not Responding” message multiple times a day.

When you are typing up a blog post and your internet crashes…no fun. When you have just stumbled across some awesome research for your book and you want to bookmark it and your internet crashes…again, no fun.

I’ve had it with Firefox. I can’t recall how many crashes I have had in the past several weeks. And then I keep getting pop-ups asking if I wanted to reinstall the color tabs. No, I don’t want the stinking color tabs anymore. Who cares about cutesy colored tabs when you can’t get your tabs to stay put during an internet session.

Firefox – you suck. I don’t know what browser I will switch too. But I’m making the switch.

Years ago I gave up on the idea of closure after being dumped. Closure is pretty much BS. You know why? Because you want the last word. But then your last word never ends up being good enough for the last word (if you are even given the opportunity) because you always think of something better later.

That, and the fact is being dumped, even if you were thinking of doing the dumping anyway, is a big ol’ bummer. No one likes to be left. Even if the person leaving is a big fat jerk anyhow.

On Twitter you can get dumped left and right. You look over and see your numbers of followers have dwindled and you wonder “Why? Why have people left me? What was it that I wrote that caused someone to hit the ‘unfollow’ button?”

Yes, I am on Twitter. But honestly, I don’t really care who dumps me or why. I do look at the numbers, but not that closely.

Until now.

A nifty tool was brought to my attention. And that tool will send you an email when you lose a follower. It will tell you who the follower is and what your last post was when they left you in the dust. The tool in question: Qwitter.

It sounds perfect for the person who wants closure. You see who left you and the last thing you wrote. And you can still get in the “last word” with the person by sending them a little nice-gram (“Why? Why did you leave me? I promise I’ll be good.”) or nastygram (“What the heck did I ever do to you to get dumped so unceremoniously? Jerk!”).

No, I will not be contacting the fools nice people who aren’t interested in my witticisms and ramblings. But I thought it might be fun to keep track of for a few days.

 What about you? Do you care who leaves and why? And would you contact the jerk person who dumps you?

**11/6/08 as a follow-up…I’ve had about 4 people qwit me since this post. The first two had their emails wiped out by my evil webmail server problem so it spared my ego. The third person, I can’t remember what my last post was that precipitated the dumping. And this morning I learned I was dumped by someone after a tweet I made on drinking wine. Perhaps this person is anti-alcohol? Not sure. But I do want to point out that even Jesus drank wine…not that I’m comparing myself to Jesus. But come on, if Jesus drank a little wine, then perhaps it’s not so bad for us peeps to indulge a little.

Just sayin’.

But anyway…back to the title question…Would you let your munchkin wear a Presidential Candidate’s pin?

Because I saw a little girl, about my munchkin’s age (4), wearing one at IKEA and it really took my breath away for a second.

First, it was for the “wrong” candidate. I wanted to kneel down and tell the girl, “Oh honey, your parents have misled you, but it’s sweet that you’re already involved in politics.”

But seriously, I was thinking…did this girl even know what she was wearing? Did she ask to wear the pin, or did Daddy (who she was shopping with) just slap it on the little girl’s shirt because he didn’t have the cahones to wear it himself?

And then I started thinking…would I let my munchkin wear a candidate’s pin during this heated race? Even if he asked?

I would be tempted to give a resounding “No.”

I don’t know about you, but it seems that this Presidential Election has brought out the worst in some American citizens. While everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, that doesn’t mean that said opinion should be thrust upon others with nasty verbalizations. And some are so insanely over the edge that I don’t doubt they would attack little children for wearing the “wrong” pin.

Am I being overprotective? Am I too distrusting of the zealot supporters of either side? I’m not sure. But I don’t think promoting a candidate by pinning a little fashion accessory to my kid’s shirt is worth the possible infliction of mental harm by obsessive freaks.

The next 11 days can’t go by fast enough.

Yes, I have clients who desire perfection. And while they understand that perfection isn’t attainable, they still keep plugging away, unable to help themselves as they strive toward the unattainable.

But how can they make this work for them? How can they make it work for their particular business?

The client I mentioned has a book with a topic in a field that is constantly changing. It’s daunting to put a book into print and then have the content be obsolete before you know it. But there are ways to deal with that and further show your target market that you are indeed an authority in your field and not some hack who just throws outdated information out there for a few bucks.

There are several ways you can handle outdated information in your print book:

1) Update the book regularly and then release updated, revised editions. This can be costly, however. If you are an entrepreneur who has his own book printed to sell online and at teaching and speaking events, then you probably have a garage full of books that are the outdated version. So you obviously want to sell those before you invest in updating your book and have the revised edition printed up.

2) Create workbook updates that you can bundle with the book. Workbook updates can look professional and be printed up with a saddle stitch by a printer and be packaged with the book when you sell online or at events. The workbook can specifically reference pages and topics that have changed since the original book went into print. If the workbook is a free add-on, then the buyer will feel like they are getting more bang for their buck. But it comes with an expense. Workbooks can cost $1-2 a piece. On the other hand, you can also sell them separately if they are written in a way to also be used as stand-alone material.

3) Within your print book, invite your readers to go online and send you an email to receive your newsletter. You are building a list great for promoting your future products and also keeping the lines of communication open. It doesn’t have to be labor intensive. You don’t have to send a weekly newsletter. Once a month with any updates in your field and then perhaps hyping your current speaking events or something else of note and you are getting the word out to your clientele and making sure they are getting the latest in information. Along these lines, AZMike of Niche How popped in to comment on that Curse of Perfection post and provided a very well thought out comment about this that was much appreciated and a good read!

4) Create a blog. You probably already have a website. But do you have a regularly updated site? And better yet, do you have a blog? A blog is a great way to connect personally with your readership. It invites discussion and may just spark ideas for future products. If you already have a website but don’t wish to incorporate a blog into it, then think about buying a separate domain name for the blog that ties to your original site. For example: www.mybusinessnameblog.com. So if I wanted to have a blog for my writing company, Beyond the Pen, but didn’t want to integrate a blog onto the existing site (www.BeyondThePen.com), then I would purchase the domain name www.BeyondThePenBlog.com. Simple enough and you can just add a link on your existing site to your new blog. And you can mention in your book how your readers can find regular updates to changing information on your blog.

Just by doing any one of these things it makes heading into print a little less scary, right? But not only that, you’re adding value to your product. Your offering useful information to your readership. and hopefully, you’re encouraging them to come back to you time and again and thinking of you as an authority and as an important resource.

If perfect means being utterly kissable when you first wake up in the morning and have dragon breath. And you wake up grumpy after a nap and whine about every single little thing. And you cry when the puppy scratches you even though you were the one teasing the puppy in the first place.

Yeah. That kind of perfect.

That’s a cute sort of perfectionism. Which I think most kids have. “Cute perfectionism” is what I’ll call it. Come on, people…let’s create a new buzz phrase!!

Cute Perfectionism - asleep

But there’s a perfectionism that isn’t cute. And it’s called being an unrealistic, anal-retentive freak. And there are some people I know who need to let their A-type shield go and just embrace the mundane like the rest of the free world.

I have a client who is cursed with perfectionism.

It’s okay. He doesn’t read my blog. So it’s not like I’m going to hurt his poor little type-A feelings or tick off his anal-retentive side.

This client won’t let his pursuit of perfectionism go.

And it’s driving me mad.

I edited his book MONTHS ago. And he’s still not finished.

Because he keeps adding.

And adding.

And adding.

Stuff.

Mind you, his field of expertise is a constantly changing animal. It’s scary to put things in print when they just might change within weeks or months and then you have this book, something in print, making you look like a doofus. I get it.

But seriously, this is out of control. His book should have gone to print about 4 months ago. At the worst, with his anal tendencies, 2 months ago. And yet, he is still tweaking it and getting it ready to send back to me.

I have thoughts (and suggestions) for you perfectionist whack jobs out there. But I don’t want them to get lost at the bottom of a long rant, so I’ll just save them for my next post. Because, yes, they are useful tips for perfectionists and how they can get their sanity back and use the changing field to their advantage.

So…are you cursed with the need for perfection?

My issue of the day?

Shopping carts.

And the fools that can’t seem to grasp the concept…wait, this is a really difficult concept to grasp, so brace yourself…the concept that you are supposed to take the cart back.

To the front of the store. To the cart corral in the parking lot.

I’m not picky. You can choose whichever works for you. But pick one.

Leaving the cart next to your car is LAZY.

Leaving the cart behind the car next to you is LAZY and a complete jerk-off move.

I don’t care if you’re handicapped. Because if you are, you’re already parked up front, so you’re right next to the store. And if you can’t juggle store items and a cart, then you can easily ask for help from a store employee. So, no excuse for you.

I don’t care if you have kids. I have a kid. And yet somehow I find a way to put the carts back where they belong. You have choices. Put kids in car and then put cart back. Or, because there are freaks out there, take the kid(s) with you to the cart corral. Leave the cart and then take the kids back to the car. Easy enough. I’ve done it. And I can be a fairly lazy person at times.

Leaving carts is not only lazy, it’s dangerous. Carts roll. They can roll into people, into cars. Cars trying to park and then swerving out of a cart’s way (because the freakin’ cart shouldn’t be there!!) can hit a person or hit another car.

Get the idea?

I would love to hear from someone who has a single legitimate reason for ever leaving a cart in the lot without securing it. Because other than just being lazy, I can’t think of a single reason.

And Dan Reinhold has got that covered! Dan is the father of a child with autism. And he’s raising money for the Greater Boston, MA Walk for Autism Research. When you donate $25 via paypal you can get a bunch of goodies..you can check out the long list for yourself.

Now, I don’t know if this were some deeper semblance of his feelings about church (sometimes he wants to go and sometimes he doesn’t), or what. But he’s four for crying out loud, so I keep philosophical talks to a minimum before bedtime.

So instead I asked him, “And what do zombies look like?”

He put his arms up in classic old-school zombie fashion and moaned.

I asked, “What do the zombies do?”

He motioned with his hand as if her were taking a chunk of my arm and then put it to his mouth.  

“What’s that?” I asked. “I don’t get it.” (I felt like one of those forensic child psychologists you see on CSI…I was looking around for dolls and crap to communicate with my son).

“They eat people.” And he said it about as matter-of-factly as you can imagine.

Of course, it was bedtime and I went through the whole “zombies don’t exist and even if they did, Mommy wouldn’t let any zombies get you” routine.

But the truth is…zombies do exist.

I’ve met some.

I remember Tracy, who was completely devoid of personality. I tried to be friendly with her. I tried to talk with her. She didn’t get my sense of humor. Fair enough. But it appeared she didn’t get ANY sense of humor. She was completely humorless. And if that isn’t the sign of being a creepy zombie, then I don’t know what the hell is. 

The other kind of zombie I usually slap with the term of vampire…but the term zombie seems to fit as well. Maybe you know one or two. These zombies don’t feed on human flesh or brains…but they feed on you just the same!

An old friend, Sharon, was a good person at heart. And I’d like to think that most zombies are good at heart. I mean, they can’t help their insatiable need to feed on humans, right?

Back to Sharon. Over and over and over again she would rattle off the same issues. Moaning and groaning about life and how tough it was and how she just wanted to be happy and why couldn’t she be happy and if she were just happy then life would be peachy-keen…and so on. And I would be there. To listen. To offer advice. To help make her happy.

But nothing ever made her happy. Because she was a zombie, stuck in a rut. She couldn’t help herself.

It’s not easy to cut a zombie loose. But I did.

Still don’t believe that zombies exist? Look around at the people just trudging through life. No personality. No happiness…not even in the smallest of things. I’m telling you – they’re out there!

And no, names have not been changed to protect the innocent because if you are a zombie I don’t think you have rights under the Constitution. And if you do, then I guess I’ll just have to deal with the consequences.

You see…I used to work for the government. And as much as I like a steady paycheck, I like my sanity more.

This was my office. And no, I’m not normally a messer. I just had so much crap to do and not enough time to do it in. Add to that supervising employees with personalities bigger than Mount Rushmore and you’ve got a stress case. And I’m talking 24/7.

I refuse to let the fear of the failing economy get to me. You know why? Because 1) fear is freakin’ contagious. It’s like a plague. It spreads from one person to another like wildfire. And I won’t spread it to anyone else. I refuse.

Because 2) fear paralyzes you. It makes you too afraid to do anything. So then you sit there and just wait. Wait for things to get better? Wait for something to happen? I’m not quite sure. But people tend to wait instead of act. And I decided a while back that I wanted to be an action person, not someone paralyzed with fear.

I’ve been writing for years…either part-time or as a moonlighter. And now that I am working from home full-time and building my writing business and a few other ventures (soon to be announced) there is no turning back.

I left a government job where I was loved. Where I knew I could stay forever and build a decent retirement. And where I would be taken back in a second…if it weren’t for the pesky hiring freeze the state has going on, and probably will have going on for another year or so.

But I wouldn’t go back. Even if I could.

Because the stress I felt there was a kazillion times more than the stress I feel as a small business owner in this economy. I have nothing but positivity and hope and I sure would like to spread that…dang, I wish hope was as contagious as fear…

Because I am never again going back to a job that sucks the very life out of me and forces me to literally tiptoe through my office in order to sit down due to paperwork overload.

Hell, no!

So…why doesn’t the current economy scare me? Because the thought of going back to that mess (^) scares me a heck of a lot more.